Should I stay?
by Toph Hitsugaya
Summary: Whenever he comes close by, they all ask themselves if they should stay. But they never seem to be able to. And is it possible that he's asking himself the same question? Sand siblings fic.


**Should I stay?**

**I really wanted to write a fic about Gaara as a kid and how he was treated and how he felt so here goes. **

**Summary: Whenever he comes close, they all ask themselves if they should stay. But they never seem to be able to. And is it possible that he's asking himself the same question?**

**Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine or a certain character would not die. I'm not going to say who as that would be a spoiler and I'm only up to book 17 but I found it out. Curse spoilers. I'll never do that to anyone. **

Black ringed eyes that stare at me, freezing me in place. Hopeful smile, begging me to stay. Trembling hands, afraid of me like I was of him.

"Don't go Temari" he begs.

But I can't oblige so I turn and run, leaving him on the deserted street. I run as fast as I can, expecting sand to catch my legs, trip me, crush me. But it doesn't come. All the catches at my pounding legs is the cool wind. So I turn my head as I run and see that his hands are up at his eyes, sobbing coming from his mouth. Crying… I made my little brother cry.

Should I stay….

Should I stay here and comfort the boy who could kill me at any moment?

I can't so I keep running, leaving him behind.

"Please" I hear him cry 'I won't hurt you"

Thos words should have made me falter, pause, half turn my head. But they didn't. I'm a coward. I'm afraid of my own little brother. I couldn't believe him, couldn't think about his feelings.

I couldn't stay…..

**8800-0088-8800-0088**

Hands trembling as he shuffles a little closer. Pale green eyes as he takes in my precious bundle. Chest heaving as he sucks in deep breaths like I am.

"Please stay Kankuro" He pleads.

But I don't want to. I dump my bundle on the ground and run. My life is more important then it. It can come back. My life can't. As I run, I expect to hear a shout of rage, a pleading scream and then a wall of sand. But there is no cry, no wall so I turn my head. He's on his knees, staring after me, tears dripping from his eyes. Crying….. I made my little brother cry.

Should I stay…

Should I turn back and laugh it off with a monster?

I can't so I keep running, leaving him behind.

"Don't" He cries after me. 'I won't hurt you"

On most people, the words would make them turn and come back. But not on me. I'm a coward. My little brother scares me. I can't be near him, can't think of what he's feeling.

I can't stay…..

**8800-0088-8800-0088**

He comes to me crying, tears dripping down his cheeks. His lip wobbling as he looks at me, asking me if I'm scared.

"Will you run away Yashamaru?"

I won't because I love him. Instead I kneel and say no. I won't leave him. I want to stay with him. He doesn't mean to hurt people but no one listens. I wait to feel the sand crush me because he's angry and he might lose control. But it never comes. So I look at him and his mouth is stretched wide. Smiling… I made my nephew smile.

Should I stay…

Should I say here as he smiles at me?

I need to so I remain kneeling.

"What should I do?" he asks. "How can I change things?"

These words are new, he hasn't asked them before. A 'be nice' slips from my lips and he thanks me before I can rephrase my words. I didn't anger him, I made him happy.

I needed to stay…

**8800-0088-8800-0088**

They ran from me. I tried being nice like Yashamaru said to. I even said I wouldn't hurt them. Why don't they like me?

"_Don't turn away"_ I cry I my head.

But they don't listen. The turn and run all the time no matter what I say, no matter what I do. I could use my sand; bring them back but Yashamaru told me that wouldn't be nice. That that would scare them. I don't want to scare them. I want them to like me. But it always ends with me in tears. Crying….. They make me cry.

Should I stay…..

Should I say here in this world of pain?

I have to because I can't run away.

"_I won't" _My mind screams. _"I won't hurt you this time!"_

Those words should make them comeback, make them smile at me and say 'I know.' But they didn't and they never will. I'm a coward. I could chase after them. I'm scared of myself.

I have to stay…..

**8800-0088-8800-0088**

Anger on his face, glaring at us. His face tells us to shut up, to go away but his eyes say something different. His eyes say 'Help me.'

"Go away" he snarls, voice faltering.

But we can't do that so we stay and pull him into an embrace, the first one we've ever had. We hug him as close as possible. We wince, knowing the sand will come but it doesn't. Not even a single grain brushes against our skin. We look up and silent tears are trickling down his face. Crying… We made our little brother cry again.

Should we stay….

Should we stay here as he cries for the first time in a long time?

We have to because we love him.

"It's ok" We say. 'It's all ok"

Those words make the tears run harder and the sounds emerge from his mouth. Gasping sobs as he shakes in our embrace. We are near him, thinking of his feelings.

We are going to stay…..

**8800-0088-8800-0088**

A smile on his face as he looks at me, on my right side, Kankuro on my left. His eyes shine with pride and warmth. It took me along time to see those things in his eyes but they're there now.

"I'm happy for you" He whispers, voice tight with emotion.

And then he's letting my arm go and I'm walking up to face Shikamaru who smiles at me. I turn to look at him behind me and he's still smiling, no tears like Kankuro, just a smile. I know the sand will come and it does, swirling around me. A way to show his love that only he can give me. Hug….. My brother is hugging me.

Should I stay…..

Should I stay here and never leave my brother's side?

"I'm happy for you" he mouths. "I love you"

Those words make me tear up as I turn back to Shikamaru and say 'I do.' Then we're together, being congratulated, being loved. Think of his feelings.

I'm going to go…..

But I'll be back….

**8800-0088-8800-0088**

Hands over mine, moving screws, hammering wood. Eyes blinking as saw dust rises into them. But no anger, just a tinge of annoyance.

"How do you handle this?' he asks, rubbing his eyes and causing them to water.

A while ago, I would have come to my senses and ran but now I just laugh and hand him goggles identical to what I'm wearing. 'Oops' I say and he glares in a good natured way. He covers his eyes with the plastic and I have to laugh at his new look. I hear a funny sound and realise its coming from him. Laughter… I made my little brother laugh.

Should I stay…..

Should I say here as I hear his laughter for the first time?

I have no choice as he trust me and I trust him.

"You have a cool laugh" I comment.

He stares in surprise and then compliments me, me laughing as he does so cause he's awkward and not sure what to do. He's feeling it though.

I want to stay….

**8800-0088-8800-0088**

I watch him from above. The smiles that grace his face more often. The laugh that his brother pulls from him. The smile for his sister and only her.

"I'm sorry" I say but he can't hear.

I want to reach down and hold him, tell him I'm sorry, say it was all a lie but I can't. But maybe he can understand that. Maybe he realises I was lying. That I have always loved him no matter what I said. I was nearly the death of him; I pushed him over the edge. I wanted to pull him back. He carved the sign into him because of me. Hurt….. I hurt my nephew.

Should I stay…..

Should I stay and watch him even though it hurts me?

"I' am so, so sorry" I cry as loud as I can. "I really am"

He tilts his had, looks up and nods as if he heard me. And then he smiles a new smile, one I know is for me. Not for him either. He's thinking of my feelings.

I'm not going to leave…..

I owe him that much…..

**8800-0088-8800-0088**

Smiles on their faces as we meet up. Together again at long last. Hands reaching out to hug, wave, punch a back. Voices weaving together.

"It's been so long" We all say.

We're together again. They came back like the said they would. The actually turned around and saw me, forgave me, loved me. I thought they wouldn't but they did. I send sand out to brush them. My own personal hug. I get uncomfortable when I touch people full on. But I hug them sometimes. Safe….. My big siblings make me feel safe.

Should I stay?

Should I stay whilst they have lives to live?

I should because I have a responsibility unlike them.

"We'll be back" they wave as they go.

My voice catches in my throat as I say goodbye. I want them to turn and they do, waving one last time. They thought about me and my feelings.

They're going to stay….

Even though they won't always be near…

**WOW this just poured out. Were did it come from? The last line was going to be even though they are far away but then it rhymed wit the previous line and I didn't want that. Weird right?**

**Anyway please review!**

**I am really happy with this…. GO ME!**


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